ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
