i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
