It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
