im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
