Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
