Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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