Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
