apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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