You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
