The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
