He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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