You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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