i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
