Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
