Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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