did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
