My brain says no but my pants say off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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