I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
