Your dad touched me again.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
