Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
