It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
