I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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