apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
