if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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