She is in my trunk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
