one might say we're banned from that church
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
