i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
