Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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