you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
