your thong is hanging out like whoa
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize