I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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