The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
