I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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