sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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