the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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