That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
