So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My feet surprised me
Randomize
