Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
