While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
