Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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