my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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