Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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