Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
