Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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