He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
