Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize