my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
