i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
