So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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