ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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