she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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