if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
