just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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