He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
