I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
