Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
