Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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