I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
