Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
