I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
