wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize